As a licensed midwife, birth mentor, and maternal health advocate, I’ve spent over a decade supporting women through one of the most powerful rites of passage: birth. But time and again, I hear the same questions from women across the country:

• “Am I allowed to eat during labor?”
• “Can they force me to be induced?”
• “Will I get in trouble if I say no to that procedure?”
• “What happens if I trust my body instead of the protocol?”

These aren’t just questions. They’re red flags. They reveal a much deeper issue in our healthcare system — a lack of trust in women. And it’s putting mothers and babies at risk every single day.

The Real Crisis: When Medicine Ignores Individuality

In the U.S., we spend more on maternity care than any other developed country, yet we rank worst for maternal mortality and morbidity. Let that sink in. The reasons are complex, but one stands out clearly: we are treating every woman the same, while ignoring the fact that birth is deeply personal and physiological. Medical protocols, while useful for emergencies, were never meant to replace human judgment or a mother’s inner knowing. But in most hospital settings, the protocol becomes the plan — regardless of whether it’s necessary, appropriate, or even safe for the individual patient.

“Standardized care is not the same as safe care.” — Allison Tartari, LM

Collaborating with the client to create a thoughtful, informed approach to her birth experience

The Power of Intuition in Birth

Science has finally started catching up to something midwives have always known: the body speaks. And when a woman is given space to listen, to move, breathe, pause, and follow her own rhythm — birth tends to unfold safely and powerfully. In fact, intuition is not anti-science. It’s a form of internal data — your body giving you feedback in real time.

• You know when something feels off
• You know when you need to rest
• You know when it’s time to push
• And yes, you know when to ask for help

But in too many birth settings, that knowing is dismissed in favor of the clock, the chart, or the shift change.

What’s at Stake When We Don’t Listen

Here’s what happens when birth becomes something that’s done to women, instead of something led by women:

• Inductions are scheduled for convenience — not medical necessity
• Cesareans are performed preventatively — not because of true emergencies
• People are separated from their instincts and left feeling disempowered

The result? A skyrocketing rate of birth trauma, postpartum depression, and mistrust in the very system designed to provide care.

“Am I Allowed?” Let’s Talk About Medical Consent

Consent is not just a signature. It’s a process. Every woman deserves true informed consent — which includes:

• A clear explanation of the risks, benefits, and alternatives to any procedure or medication
• The ability to say “no” without fear
• Time and support to make decisions in alignment with her values, not just hospital policy

When providers skip this process, they aren’t just breaking trust — they’re violating your legal and human rights.

The Role of Midwifery in Restoring Autonomy

This is why midwifery matters — especially in hospital settings where protocols often overpower personal preference. As a midwife offering co-care for women giving birth in hospitals, I bridge the gap between medical and human-centered care. I don’t replace your doctor; I support you in advocating for your needs and creating a birth plan that centers YOU. My care includes:

• Emotional preparation for labor and hospital dynamics
• Real-time decision-making support during labor
• Non-clinical tools for comfort and pain relief
• Postpartum recovery guidance that focuses on healing and wholeness
• Protection of your voice and vision for your birth

Because when women are supported, educated, and believed — the outcomes speak for themselves.

Allison meets with a client in a home setting to discuss and develop a personalized birth plan tailored to the mother’s preferences and care needs

What the Data Tells Us

Let’s take a look at the numbers:

• The World Health Organization recommends a cesarean rate between 10–15%. In many U.S. hospitals, it exceeds 30–40%
• Studies show that continuous support during labor — such as from a midwife or doula — can reduce cesareans by 25–39%
• Women who are actively involved in their birth choices report greater satisfaction, less trauma, and better physical recovery postpartum

The takeaway? Individualized care works. And women who are informed and supported make safer decisions.

Protocols Should Serve You — Not Control You

There is a place for medical protocols. But the moment a policy overrides your right to choose, it becomes a danger — not a safeguard. Imagine if every woman:

• Was trusted to listen to her body
• Was fully informed about all options
• Had a dedicated midwife or advocate by her side
• Felt safe enough to speak up and change the course of her birth

That’s not just idealistic — it’s evidence-based, trauma-informed care. And it’s what I believe every woman deserves.

How to Prepare for an Empowered Birth

If you’re planning a hospital birth and want to stay in the driver’s seat, here’s what I recommend:

Work with a midwife or doula who supports your autonomy
Take a childbirth education course that includes physiological birth and patient advocacy
Write a flexible but firm birth plan — and review it with your provider
Know your rights. You can refuse any intervention, request more time, or ask for another opinion
Practice tuning into your body and intuition now, during pregnancy. The more you listen, the more confident you’ll feel in labor

Final Word: You’re Not “Difficult.” You’re Informed.

You are not selfish for asking questions.
You are not naive for wanting less intervention.
You are not “difficult” for saying no. You are informed. You are intuitive. And you are the expert on your body and your baby.

Work With Me

If you’re planning a hospital birth but want the holistic, individualized support that midwifery brings, I offer:

• Midwifery co-care (virtual and in-person)
• Birth mentoring and advocacy
• Postpartum recovery support
• Resources for navigating hospital systems with confidence and grace